Hang On to What Works for Your Sobriety

 

Crossing the threshold between addiction and recovery is a step by step process. It's going to take time. It's going to require a process of change. In fact, in some ways you might still have one foot in addiction. You might still have memories of your old life that come to mind. You might have dreams of who you were when you were still using. You might also have contact with some of your old friends. Although you know in your heart that you would never use again, there's still a faint part of you that's connected to your old way of life. 

For this reason, it's important to hang on to what's working for you in sobriety. You might know that your morning meditation helps keep you calm and relaxed. You might recognize that your job, although sometimes stressful, gives you the financial resources to keep a roof over your head. You might be grateful for the support of your family, the health of your body, and the clarity of your mind. But if you were to neglect  what's working for you for a day or two, you might find that your stress level is higher and that you don't feel as mentally clear as you usually do.  You might even begin to have cravings to use again. 

If you're frightened of having everything unravel (and many early recovering addicts are), then you make a list of what's working for you. This might include things like:

• morning walk
• weekly attendance to church 
• daily attendance to 12-step meetings 
• support from friends and family 
•  regular attendance to a yoga class
• love from a significant other
• job or career 
• eating healthy 
• seeing your therapist 
• talking to your sponsor 
• plenty of time in nature 
• enjoying time with sober friends and family 
• daily dose of laughter 
• watching good movies 
• your favorite television program 
• hot baths 
• working out at the gym 
• listening to music 
•  being creative - journaling or painting or dancing 
• reading inspirational books 
• listening to motivational speeches or stories about recovery 

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If you have a regular practice of an activity in your life that is helping you feel good about yourself and healthy, then keep doing it! In fact, even if you're feeling great one day and you decide that you don't need to go for a run or time for meditation, you might notice that the absence of that activity will have its effect on you. And if you don't do your self-care activity for a few days in a row, you may realize that you're becoming less mentally clear, less calm, and more agitated. 

If you know that an activity is working well in your life and supporting your recovery, hang on to it. Don't let it go, even if you're feeling well. By participating in an activity every day, it might be hard to notice its effects, but it may have a subtle influence on your mood, attitude, and thinking. In fact, it may be keeping you sober.

The First Step Is Deciding to Get Sober

 

The decision to finally get help is a choice that each person needs to make for themselves. And it's often a process to get there. It may be a slow development to finally be able to decide, "Okay, it's time to get sober."

But even at this point, there might be obstacles that get in the way. Whether a person is able to break through those obstacles sometimes depends upon how badly they want sobriety. When it comes down to it, when an individual knows that he or she needs assistance, getting treatment and committing oneself to sobriety is the only thing that is going to end an addiction.

Because there will be many obstacles that a person faces, including:

·         stigma

·         denial

·         fear of legal consequences

·         shame

·         desire to keep using

·         not being able to afford treatment

·         not having the time to participate in treatment

And this list provides only a few examples of the many obstacles that can stand in the way of treatment. Yet, when a person recognizes that they want to get sober - not so much for sobriety's sake, but for a number of other reasons - they might do whatever it takes. They might eventually seek treatment because they realize that they themselves don't have the inner strength to end their substance use. When this happens, the desire for addiction treatment outweighs the stigma, denial, fear, and shame. They might recognize they desperately need treatment so they find a way to do it. 

Some of the reasons why a person might finally make the decision to get sober include:

·         for their marriage

·         for their children

·         to keep their career

·         to feel good about themselves again

·         to repair family relationships

·         to finally reach their dreams

These are all reasons that might propel a person's decision to get sober. And if they can overcome the obstacles listed above, they might find treatment supportive. In fact, once an individual realizes that he or she is not alone in the drug treatment process, that usually instill hope in them. And with hope, a person often feels strengthened in their decision to get sober. For a person to stay sober, that inner strength will be needed. Slowly, a person goes from making a decision to get sober to deciding to stay sober no matter what. And even if a person relapses, he or she commits to sobriety again. They commit to moving upward and onward, despite the steps backward. 

In this way, the decision to get sober is not a one-time event. It's an ongoing process of staying sober each day of their recovery. Like the AA phrase suggests, a person decides to get sober, "One Day at a Time". And with each passing day, their decision for sobriety feels so natural that they would never go back to a life of addiction. 

However, this experience is not as easy as it sounds, and some people might need support in making their decision to get sober. If you are struggling with an addiction and you want to get sober but find that you can't, contact a mental health provider for help.

How to Control Your Urges to Use and Abuse

One of the defining traits of an addict is having a strong urge to use substances. In fact, there’s not only a strong urge to use, but there’s the urge to use again and again and again. And the urge to use continues even after someone recognizes that substance use is not a good idea. The classic symptom of addiction is continuing to use substances even though you’re clear that you want to stop. There’s an inability to stop drinking or using drugs. And then, even after someone gets sober and goes through drug addiction treatment, the urge to use may continue to arise. However, the difference here is that you’re learning how to control those urges. You’re gaining the power to resist them. 

In fact, another common trait that many addicts have is the need for instant gratification. They want it now, not later. They are drawn to the high life, excitement, and thrill. On the other hand, addiction treatment has a focus on not giving into those urges. When you get sober, you get used to the idea of later, not now. And actually, with drugs or alcohol, you get used to the idea that it might not ever happen. You’re focused on sobriety now. 

The following are suggestions for resisting those urges to use and instead continue to focus on staying sober. 

1. Stay active. Boredom can easily get the best of people. When you’ve got nothing to do, you’re more likely to do something you want to do – like drinking or using drugs. However, if you stay busy, you’re attention is focused on work, family, friends, responsibilities, etc. Staying busy keeps your mind off drugs and alcohol. 

2. Attend a support group. Another way to keep your mind on sobriety is to join a support group that has their mind on sobriety too. It’s incredibly challenging to stay sober if you don’t have a community of friends who are also focused on sobriety. Spending time with others who have either already achieved the goal you want or are working towards it can assist you in being where you want to be. Then, when those urges come along, you’re more likely to respond to them in a new way. Rather than giving in to them, a support group can help give you the strength you need to resist them. 

3. Exercise. Right in the middle of a strong craving for alcohol, for example, get up and go to the gym. When you’re feeling the urge to get high, go for a run and let that frustrated energy out. Rather than giving in to the craving, use the energy towards something else, such as getting a great workout at the gym. 

4. Distract yourself. Like exercise, anything can be used to take your mind off cravings and on something else. Whether it’s work, exercising, hobbies, your children, or your spouse. Find a distraction that you can turn to again and again whenever you feel a craving. 

These are a few suggestions for resisting the urge to use drugs or alcohol. Throughout your recovery you may face the challenge of cravings. However, with the above tips, over time, those cravings will show up less and less often.

Heal the Wounds that Fuel Addiction to Stay Sober

 

There are many reasons why people find themselves with an addiction: they are genetically predisposed, it was learned from childhood, they are hooked on a feeling, or because they see all their friends using. However, the most common reason behind substance use and addiction is the inability to cope with painful emotions. A person pushes those challenging feelings away with alcohol, meth, cocaine, or heroin. The pain of past trauma, death in the family, relationship breakup, or financial trouble can come with significant and intense emotions. When facing them feels too overwhelming, a person might turn to drugs or drinking. 

Commonly, what happens is a person learns to rely upon the drug or alcohol to cope with life. When an uncomfortable feeling arises, they reach for the martini. When the painful emotion shows up, they lay out their lines of coke. Over time, a habit develops in someone where they learn to rely upon the substance as a means to cope with not only painful emotions but stress in general. In this way, substance use and addiction develop out of both the need to turn away from emotions but also from reliance on that substance to cope with life. 

Therefore, in treatment, it's important that a person work with a therapist to finally face the emotions they've been overlooking. And this alone can be a challenging part of recovery. Making the phone call to get help, going through detox, and experiencing the first few weeks of recovery might come with a certain kind of anguish. But it is when you finally face the emotions that might have been driving the addiction in the first place that you might feel challenged. For this reason, it's essential to do this with a therapist or a trained mental health provider. It's likely that if you don't call upon professional assistance, you might find yourself turning to substances again in order to avoid the painful feelings. 

In fact, even if a person gets sober, goes through addiction treatment, and begins their recovery, he or she might find themselves relapsing if the past trauma or painful experiences are not healed. One of the most common reasons why a person relapses is because they have not healed wounds of the past that continue to affect their choices today. Although they might have taken all the steps to get sober, the habit of turning to substances to feel better might still be strongly in place. 

For this reason, addiction treatment must include two components (among others): 

1. Healing the wounds that contributed to substance use and addiction.

2. Learning new and healthy coping tools for managing stress and painful emotions when they arise. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction or recurrent relapse, consider contacting a mental health provider. Working with a therapist or psychologist can help unearth those painful emotions, heal past traumas, and free you from addiction once and for all.