The First Step Is Deciding to Get Sober

 

The decision to finally get help is a choice that each person needs to make for themselves. And it's often a process to get there. It may be a slow development to finally be able to decide, "Okay, it's time to get sober."

But even at this point, there might be obstacles that get in the way. Whether a person is able to break through those obstacles sometimes depends upon how badly they want sobriety. When it comes down to it, when an individual knows that he or she needs assistance, getting treatment and committing oneself to sobriety is the only thing that is going to end an addiction.

Because there will be many obstacles that a person faces, including:

·         stigma

·         denial

·         fear of legal consequences

·         shame

·         desire to keep using

·         not being able to afford treatment

·         not having the time to participate in treatment

And this list provides only a few examples of the many obstacles that can stand in the way of treatment. Yet, when a person recognizes that they want to get sober - not so much for sobriety's sake, but for a number of other reasons - they might do whatever it takes. They might eventually seek treatment because they realize that they themselves don't have the inner strength to end their substance use. When this happens, the desire for addiction treatment outweighs the stigma, denial, fear, and shame. They might recognize they desperately need treatment so they find a way to do it. 

Some of the reasons why a person might finally make the decision to get sober include:

·         for their marriage

·         for their children

·         to keep their career

·         to feel good about themselves again

·         to repair family relationships

·         to finally reach their dreams

These are all reasons that might propel a person's decision to get sober. And if they can overcome the obstacles listed above, they might find treatment supportive. In fact, once an individual realizes that he or she is not alone in the drug treatment process, that usually instill hope in them. And with hope, a person often feels strengthened in their decision to get sober. For a person to stay sober, that inner strength will be needed. Slowly, a person goes from making a decision to get sober to deciding to stay sober no matter what. And even if a person relapses, he or she commits to sobriety again. They commit to moving upward and onward, despite the steps backward. 

In this way, the decision to get sober is not a one-time event. It's an ongoing process of staying sober each day of their recovery. Like the AA phrase suggests, a person decides to get sober, "One Day at a Time". And with each passing day, their decision for sobriety feels so natural that they would never go back to a life of addiction. 

However, this experience is not as easy as it sounds, and some people might need support in making their decision to get sober. If you are struggling with an addiction and you want to get sober but find that you can't, contact a mental health provider for help.

Heal the Wounds that Fuel Addiction to Stay Sober

 

There are many reasons why people find themselves with an addiction: they are genetically predisposed, it was learned from childhood, they are hooked on a feeling, or because they see all their friends using. However, the most common reason behind substance use and addiction is the inability to cope with painful emotions. A person pushes those challenging feelings away with alcohol, meth, cocaine, or heroin. The pain of past trauma, death in the family, relationship breakup, or financial trouble can come with significant and intense emotions. When facing them feels too overwhelming, a person might turn to drugs or drinking. 

Commonly, what happens is a person learns to rely upon the drug or alcohol to cope with life. When an uncomfortable feeling arises, they reach for the martini. When the painful emotion shows up, they lay out their lines of coke. Over time, a habit develops in someone where they learn to rely upon the substance as a means to cope with not only painful emotions but stress in general. In this way, substance use and addiction develop out of both the need to turn away from emotions but also from reliance on that substance to cope with life. 

Therefore, in treatment, it's important that a person work with a therapist to finally face the emotions they've been overlooking. And this alone can be a challenging part of recovery. Making the phone call to get help, going through detox, and experiencing the first few weeks of recovery might come with a certain kind of anguish. But it is when you finally face the emotions that might have been driving the addiction in the first place that you might feel challenged. For this reason, it's essential to do this with a therapist or a trained mental health provider. It's likely that if you don't call upon professional assistance, you might find yourself turning to substances again in order to avoid the painful feelings. 

In fact, even if a person gets sober, goes through addiction treatment, and begins their recovery, he or she might find themselves relapsing if the past trauma or painful experiences are not healed. One of the most common reasons why a person relapses is because they have not healed wounds of the past that continue to affect their choices today. Although they might have taken all the steps to get sober, the habit of turning to substances to feel better might still be strongly in place. 

For this reason, addiction treatment must include two components (among others): 

1. Healing the wounds that contributed to substance use and addiction.

2. Learning new and healthy coping tools for managing stress and painful emotions when they arise. 

If you or someone you know is struggling with an addiction or recurrent relapse, consider contacting a mental health provider. Working with a therapist or psychologist can help unearth those painful emotions, heal past traumas, and free you from addiction once and for all.

Develop Self-Awareness to Stay Sober

 

There is one primary reason why a person is encouraged to attend therapy, drug counseling, and AA meetings while in recovery, and that is to become more self aware. When you are aware of the choices you make and why, you're more likely to stop making choices out of hurt, pain, or fear. And instead, you can begin to make choices out of love, acceptance, and excitement. It's easy to make a choice out of fear, especially if you've been doing that throughout your life. 

For instance, perhaps when you were drinking you reached for a glass of wine whenever you felt guilty or shameful. Because you couldn't bear those feelings on some level, you reached for something that would make those emotions go away. And you might not have been aware that those feelings have been present with you for your most of your life. Instead, you've been doing all that you can to avoid them. 

As an adult, drinking became a socially acceptable way to hide what you were feeling on the inside. You drank to numb yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically. At some point, you might have made the association that drinking could do that for you. And later, it became an unconscious and automatic habit to drink when you didn't feel well emotionally. 

This kind of emotional numbing is true for many addicts. And it doesn't have to be guilt or shame, emotions that addicts tend to rid themselves of include anger, fear, regret, resentment, betrayal, or loss. 

If you're in recovery now, your task is to become more and more self aware. It's not an easy task because it requires letting those feelings be there. It requires being open to what is happening on the inside versus trying to push everything away. And self-awareness is not something that you can force yourself to have. It happens slowly, over time. 

However, there are practices that you can engage in that can facilitate developing self-awareness. As mentioned above, this might be attending therapy and utilizing the client-therapist relationship to facilitate awareness. Drug counseling and attending 12-step meetings can also help. However, a great way to become more self-aware is to read. When you read books about addiction, codependency, and recovery you learn about the experiences that others have had. You might also learn about the typical inner dynamics that lend themselves to addiction. And as you read, you might notice some of those dynamics in yourself. You might say, "Oh, I do that!" What's great about reading is that it's not until you read about something that you recognize it in yourself. Up until that point, you were unaware of that playing a role in your addiction. 

In recovery from addition, there are many facets of treatment that can facilitate awareness, such as those suggested above. However, you might also try alternative health practices, such as meditation and yoga. These can also facilitate awareness. Each of these practices can slow the pace of the mind, and with a slower mind and a slower way of life you're more likely to notice yourself. You're more likely to become more aware of what you're doing and why. Over time, with a growing self awareness, you can get better at no longer making choices out of fear but instead out of love and self-acceptance.